A Mother's Pondering
by A Girl Heading Nowhere
Summary: Elia Martell wonders who her children are truly like. The same universe as Visenya and Aegon : Ten Moments (VATM). SO R&R please!


**A MOTHER'S PONDERING**

Elia Martell wonders who her children are truly like.

I.

The day Rhaenys is born everybody around Elia rejoices. After all, a child born within a year of the marriage proves that Elia can bear children and if this start is any indication then Rhaegar Targaryen shall not have a shortage of children. Or so people claim on her face. Behind her back, they whisper about how the child is a daughter and not a son (and hence an heir), about how the girl child is Dornish, not a true Targaryen. Elia smiles, thanks the people who wish her and pretends to not hear such stories.

As Rhaenys grows up, Elia realises how wrong people around her were. Sure Rhaenys is olive-skinned and dark-haired like her mother. But that is where the similarities end. Rhaenys is only Dornish _looking._ But she is a Targaryen, as Targaryen as her indigo eyes are. After all, why else would she name her cat Balerion, why else would she care more about dragons and how they conquered the Seven Kingdoms and not listen to Elia when Elia reminds her daughter that Dorne remained unconquered. As Rhaenys grows up, she proves everybody around her wrong and that is what breaks Elia's heart.

Elia stands by as her first born grows up like a proper princess and Elia immediately starts comparing herself and her daughter. It is wrong of her, Elia knows, but she too was born a Princess and so she wants to see how different (or perhaps alike) are princesses of Dorne and of the Seven Kingdoms. Rhaenys is like Rhaegar, Elia decides finally. Proper, mindful of her duty and perhaps (she prays this is only her imagination) with a touch of the Targaryen madness. Elia does not say this without reason. She says it because she has seen it. Seen it in the way Rhaenys narrows her eyes at people who disobey her, the way she speaks one thing to people's face and another behind their back, the way she moves about the place with an air of superiority.

When Rhaenys is ten-and-a-three, Rhaegar calls upon Robert Baratheon and Lyanna Stark to discuss a betrothal better their son Jon and Rhaenys. As Rhaegar and Robert decide to go through with the arrangement and decide upon the day for marriage Elia realises that she and her daughter are not too different. After all, both of their husband are chosen for them. Again people laugh and talk of how lucky Rhaenys is because Jon is so handsome, because Rhaenys shall be the lady of Storm's End someday. Elia wants to scream out that no, no Rhaenys will not be satisfied with this, that Rhaenys wants power and Rhaenys wants to be her father.

 _What Elia does not know is how much her daughter changes after Elia's death. How Rhaenys grows out of her childhood silliness and takes the mantle of the Red Keep and Storm's End (upon her marriage). What Elia does not know is that at ten-and-a-five, Rhaenys realises how lucky she is that she will marry some Lord and not the King, how lucky she is to marry out of the crown. How in the end, Rhaenys finally realises just how sick and horrific the crown and the title of the 'Queen' is._

II.

When Aegon is born, a little less than two years after Rhaenys, people rejoice again. This time because Aegon is a son, his father's heir, a future King. And Aegon appears to be the perfect heir. Silver haired, indigo-eyed. The new Silver Prince, they call him. But behind Elia's back, they whisper of how the child may look like a Targaryen but he has Dornish blood in him and Dornish blood spells doom for the rest, how the child not only looks like his father but also like his grandsire (whose madness just grows and grows). Elia fakes her way through the celebrations, laughs when required to and stays silent until spoken to. She pretends that nobody has spoken ill of her son ever.

As Aegon grows, Elia realises that for the first time people are right. That Aegon may look like a Targaryen but he has Dornish blood in him. People say Aegon is like his father, well-read, a clever boy, a good warrior. But Elia knows her son. And so Elia knows that Aegon is not really like his father but like Oberyn, well-read, clever, a good warrior, little hotheaded and a fierce protector of his sister Visenya. And though Aegon knows how to play the harp, his songs do not hold the same charm as Rhaegar's. And so Elia decides that yes, no matter what people say, Aegon has more Dornish blood in him than Targaryen.

Aegon grows up not as a mere Prince but as the Crown Prince, a boy with the birth right to rule. What makes her happy is that when people talk of Kingship to Aegon, Aegon replies that Kingship is his duty. Elia knows that the Seven Kingdoms could not have asked for a better King-in-waiting to rule them. But their is slight hunger in Aegon. Not madness. Hunger. Hunger to be victorious. Hunger to be better. Hunger to be better than his father and Elia knows that Aegon wants to be a King, a King better than his father, better than his namesake.

When Aegon is ten namedays old, Rhaegar informs Elia that their son shall squire for Ser Arthur. Elia stares at Rhaegar for a long time because she wants to ask him 'does Aegon want to do this?' but she doesn't. Seeing her goodmother over the years Elia has learnt that a Queen and her children are safe as long as they meekly follow the King's orders. So she nods and prays to the Mother. But no prayers are truly needed. The stiffness in Aegon's postures, the way he stares at people like he can beat them, that lack of compassion in him as he beats his opponents are pure Rhaegar.

 _What Elia does not know is that her son turns to wine upon Elia's death. That Aegon loses every will to rule, that for the first time Aegon thinks of abandoning his duty. That Aegon truly wants to leave the Crown because he has spent his life in his father's shadow and the Iron Throne does not suit him. What Elia does not know is just how scared Aegon is of his father's throne and how much he fears he will fail his father and mother once he becomes King._

III.

When Visenya is born, people are too busy ending the rule of the Mad King. Men are too busy fighting battles, women are too concerned for their own husbands and children that nobody concerns to comment on Visenya. Except Ser Jaime. Ser Jaime is the one left behind in the Red Keep to guard the Mad King as Rhaegar and the remaining Kingsguard travel across Westeros to gather support. Ser Jaime mentions that Visenya looks like a Targaryen and Elia's mind instantly goes to a girl who was born as a princess with Targaryen looks. Rhaegar's mother, Queen Rhaella. Elia decides to die before she lets her daughter end up like the Queen.

As Visenya grows, she becomes quite a darling. People love her more than they love Rhaenys and Aegon and her siblings themselves hold such pure love for their youngest sister that jealousy is never sighted. Visenya grows in beauty too and people start calling her the most beautiful maiden in Westeros. But Visenya is not truly beautiful, Elia knows. Sure, silvery-blond hair and purple eyes with pale skin make Visenya better looking than a lot of girls her age but the truth is that Visenya is not the most beautiful. But she is pure. Elia wonders if perhaps it is Rhaenys' and Aegon's love that shields Visenya because Visenya is innocent and pure, so untouched by anything Targaryen.

As the youngest of Elia's children, Visenya is much loved and truly spoilt but there is a goodness in her that Elia's other children do not possess. After Oberyn says that Visenya is like Elia herself, Elia wonders if truly Visenya is anything like her. Visenya is well read though she does not share the same love for reading that Elia and Rhaenys share, Visenya is bruised easily while Rhaenys, Aegon and Elia are not. Sometimes, Elia finds more in common between herself and Rhaenys than between herself and Visenya. So when even Rhaenys is not like Elia, how can Visenya be.

But Visenya is a kind girl with a gentle heart. Visenya is witty and makes people laugh. Visenya is like a rose without thorns, Visenya is down to skin and bones. Perhaps Visenya is truly like her, Elia concludes and she smiles because atleast one child of hers resembles her in nature.

 _What Elia does not know is that while Visenya is like her mother, she is also like her grandmother. After all, Visenya is born to a King and Queen as well, Visenya looks similar to her grandmother and bruises just as easily, Visenya marries her brother and becomes his Queen. Yes, the similarities are uncanny and what Elia does not realise is that Visenya is truly like her grandmother._


End file.
